To Babysitt is to Die
by Elycium
Summary: The fellowship, plus Elrond, Galadriel and Celeborn and Sarumon have ended up in a small town on Earth where they are taken in by three hyperactive teens, only to revert back to children! What do do now? R&R/ my first fic, be nice please
1. Fellowship in the Cornfield

Sari sat on the roof of her clubhouse, looking up at the night sky with her telescope while her two friends Angel and Cora sat below arguing over who had how many pixiesticks from their stash. "Do you guys ever stop eating those?" Sari wondered as she popped her head over the edge of the roof, looking at her two friends.  
  
"Do you ever stop drinking coffee?" Cora countered.  
  
"Point well made," Sari agreed. "Byt the way, would you mind handing me my cappuccino?" Angel grabbed the styrofoam cup and passed it over to Sari, who took it and swung back up onto the roof, just in time to see the sky errupt with colorful light. "Guys, take a look at this!"  
  
"Holy shit!" Angel gasped, looking at the swirl of light.  
  
"What is that?" Cora wondered.  
  
"Better question," Angel replied. "What's that?" She pointed to a ball of fiery light that was descending rapidly, right into the cornfield behind their house. They all heard the impact of whatever it was as they lights in the sky faded and vanished.  
  
"Lets check it out!" Sari exclaimed, gulping down the last of her coffee.  
  
"Lets not and say we did," Cora suggested.   
  
"Wuss," Sari goaded. "Come on, its not like there are any aliens or anything. We can always take those sickles we bought from the Antique store, and if anything attacks us we kill them like those people in Children of the Corn."  
  
"That;s so reassuring," Cora grumbled.  
  
"I'm all up for it," Angel bounced hyperly.  
  
In less than five minutes the three teens were in the corn field, armed with ancient rusty sickles and a handful of pixie sticks. It didn't take them long to find the "crash site" but what they found stumped them. Standing there were several people, including four Elves, a dawrf, a human man, and four strange little halflings, and two old-looking men in wizard's robes.  
  
"Sari?" Cora asked, knowing that it was Sari who was knowledgeable in these things.  
  
"T-th-they're..."Sari stuttered.  
  
"They're what?" Angel pressed.  
  
"Lord of the Rings," was all she managed to get out.  
  
"What is this place?" asked one of the halflings. He jumped back at seeing the three girls, armed with the sharp objects. "And who are you?!"  
  
"We'd like to know the same thing about you," Cora said. "Like...who are you and how did you end up in our cornfield?"  
  
"Are you really Elves?" Angel asked, reverting back to her hyper, bubbly, self.  
  
"Both of you be quiet!" Sari ordered. "We mean no harm," she added to the group. "We er... saw you land out here and came to see what was going on. I'm Sari. This is Cora and that bumbling idiot is Angel."  
  
"And where exactly is here?" demanded one of the Elves, tall with long dark brown hair.  
  
"You're in Girard Pennsylvania,' Angel answered. 'Home to the crackheads of America." Everyone gave her odd looks. "Well its true," she added.  
  
"You are in Girard Pennsylvania," Sari confirmed.   
  
"Mind telling us who you are?" Cora asked. "Or do you want to tell us Sari?"  
  
"Going down the line we have,' Sari began, "Celeborn, Galadriel, both of Lorien, Elrond of Rivendell, Legolas of Mirkwood, Gimli son of Gloin, Aragorn of Gondor, Merry, Pippen, Frodo and Sam of the Shire, Gandalf the Grey and Sarumon the White." All of the newcomers stared at her in amazement.  
  
"I thought Sarumon was the bad guy in Lord of the Rings," Angel whispered to Cora.  
  
"He is," Cora replied.  
  
"How is it that you know who we are?" Aragorn questioned suspisciously.  
  
"I er...heard about you, you could say," Sari answered, not quite sure how to explain how a bunch of characters from Tolkien's novels had ended up in her back yard. Luckily she didnt have to think too long, because a howl came from not to far off and Angel whimpered.   
  
"We'd better get going, before the coyotes get here...I imagine they wouldn't mind a hobbit sized snack if they could get a hold of one." Cora smirked at the look of fear on the four hobbits' faces.  
  
"Cora, be nice," Sari scolded as they moved out of the cornfield. "The clubhouse is going to be too small to fit everyone inside...its a good thing my parents are out of town for the week." She let them all inside, where they stood uncomfortably and out of place. "Its okay, we don't bite," she reassured.   
  
"What are all of these things?" Merry wondered, looking at the microwave, and the lights. The computer especially had him and Pippen perplexed. Aragorn nearly killed the phone when it rang and Legolas almost killed the pizza delivery boy when he rang the doorbell.  
  
"They need to lay off the caffiene," Angel giggled as the girls paid for the pizza.  
  
"Angel, you twit," Cora snickered, 'I don't think they know what caffiene is."  
  
"Or pizza for that matter," Angel added. "Help yourselves," she said to all of them, setting the two boxes on the table.  
  
"I'll be right back," Sari announced, grabbing a flashlight from the counter.  
  
"Where you going?" Cora asked as she dished out some pizza to the Eves who were looking at it as if it were the strangest form of food they'd ever seen.  
  
"The basement," Sari replied, a grin spreading on her face. "Have to check on those bodies you know, make sure they're tied down tight so none of them get lose and come after Anegl while she sleeps. We wouldn't want that long red hair of her's getting cut off now would we."  
  
"That's not funny!" Angel sulked, frowning at the age old joke shared between her and her friends. Sari just laughed as she disappeared down the stairs into the dark basement. It had been ages since anyone had replaced the lights...using a flashlight was easier.   
  
'The fellowship plus three in my household' she thought to herself. 'What the hell am I supposed to do with them...better yet, how do I get them back to middle earth?' Her thoughts were interrupted by several shouts, mostly from Angel and Cora. Fearing that Gimli may have chopped something in half with his ax she bolted up the stairs, but an even more frightning sight greeted her then some destroyed appliance. All of the middle earthers had shrunk, not just in size it seemed, but in age.  
  
"They were eating the pizza and all of a sudden they were...kids," Angel explained.  
  
"Oh hell no," Sari uttered as Sarumon and Gandalf, who looked to be about eight years old started fighting weith each other over the last slice of mushroom pizza. "Hey, stop it you two!" she scolded, taking the pizza from them. "OUCH!"  
  
"What happened?" Cora asked.  
  
"He bit me!" She yelled, pointing at Sarumon accusingly. Sarumon grabbed the pizza from her hand just as Gandalf tackled him. "This can't be happening!" 


	2. Children in the House

Disclaimer: I forgot to put this on the last chapter. I don't own any of the characters, they belong to Mr. Tolkien. Nor do I own any of the television shows or songs mentioned (thank goddess for some of them). I do, however, own Sari, Cora, and Angel. They're mine.  
  
***********************************************************************************************  
  
  
The three teens watched in horror as the two once-grown wizards rolled around on the floor over a piece of pizza. All the while the children hobbits were sitting in front of the television watching teletubies while the Elves all sat in front of the computer just hitting random keys on the keyboard, laughing as the letters popped up on the screen. Gimli was staring in awe at the black box that he claimed had 'a band of minstrels' inside playing.   
  
"Don't watch that," Cora scolded. "Its evil." She turned the tv off and as soon as she did that all four of them screamed and jumped on her, hanging off of every limb. "No, get off of me! Get off! Get off! Angel, help me!"  
  
"I can't!' she called, chasing after Galadriel, who had left the computer in exchange for the bag of pixie sticks on the counter. "Those are mine! Give them back, Gala...Elf-queen lady. Those are mine!" Galadriel ran around the living room, clutching the pixie sticks in her hands as she ran around laughing madly, guzzling the sugar. "Sari!"  
  
"I'm busy!' Sari yelled, trying to seperate Gandalf and Sarumon who had forgotten about the pizza and now were just fighting for the fun of it.  
  
"Dog pile!" Legolas yelled as Gandalf and Sarumon pinned Sari to the floor. He jumped on top of her, followed by Elrond and then the Hobbits. Celeborn jumped on top of them all, muffling the cry that barely escaped Sari's chest.   
  
"Hey, got off of her! Get off!" Cora yelled, trying to pry the children off of her trapped friend. "Angel do something!"  
  
"Uh...uh...kids, look what I've got!" With a painstaking look Angel held up her bag of pixie sticks and waved in temptingly. Aragorn jumped onto Angel's arm, earning a screen and all of the other children eyed the bag of sugar evily before piling off of Sari and chasing after Angel.  
  
"Sari this is CRAZY!" 


	3. Bed Sheets and Pokemon

Aragorn was still hanging from Angel's arm as she ran to escape the hoard of children that now swarmed after her. Sai was greatful she could still breath. "We have to help her," she said to Cora.  
  
"What do we do, tie them up with bed sheets?" Cora demanded sarcastically.  
  
"Why not?" Sari decided. "We did that with your dog, didn't we?" Cora thought for a moment, a process which was sped up when they heard a loud thump, signal to Anegl's defeat by the hyperactive children.  
  
"Where do your parents keep the extra sheets?"   
  
Armed with a bunch of mis-matched bed sheets, the two teens crept up the stairs, into one of the empty bedrooms where Angel had run to. The "children" were all sitting on the floor, eating the pixie sticks, which Angel continued to throw at them to keep them at bay.   
  
'Like ravenous, sugar hungry, wolves' Sari thought, nodding to Cora. Their first targets were the wizards, Gandalf and Sarumon. They tossed the sheets over the boys and twisted them loosely, enough to tie them without suffocating the two. This caused an uproar and everyone scattered. "Get them!" she shouted, tossing a few sheets to Angel. Within half an hour all twelve of the various aged children were bundled up; struggling, but not going anywhere.  
  
"Let us out!" Legolas whined.  
  
"Yeah, we didn't do anything!" Gimli shouted.  
  
"Shut up, stupid dwarf," Legolas snapped.  
  
"They look like marshmellows with heads," Angel giggled, noting on how the girls re-bound each child so they didn't choke on the cloth.  
  
"Why are you treating us like babies?" Merry demanded.  
  
"Because, you little squirt," Sari replied, rubbing the hand that had been bitten, "I'm afraid you might destroy my house or us!"  
  
"Why would we destroy you or your home?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Because your hyperactive hellspawn," Cora said.  
  
"Why?" Galadriel asked.  
  
"Because you are," Angel answered.  
  
"Why?" Now all of the kids chimed in.  
  
"They're evil!" Cora proclaimed. "How in the name of Goddess did their parents put up with them?" Sari and Angel shrugged. "Okay, we have them tied up, now what do we do with them? You know they'll escape sooner or later, you just know it!"   
  
"Its sad how your such a pessimist," Angel commented, tapping her friend on the shoulder. "Is this why you never have one babysitting job more then two weeks?"  
  
"Bite me," Cora snapped.  
  
"We could always sit them down and make them watch a movie," Sari suggested. "Maybe they'll fall asleep."  
  
"We'll put them in the living room, you find the movie."  
  
While the other girls carried the children into the living room and set up the VCR Sari looked through the movies that she had. But the only thing in her collection was anime...and she wasn't sure how people from middle-earth would respond to El Hazard or Slayers. "They're too young anyways." She scanned the shelves again. 'Ah, Pokemon! They'll definately fall asleep to that...finally somethign to use these for other than torture devices."  
  
"Did you find the movie?" Cora asked. "They're getting antsy and Celeborn has already figured out how to untie the knots!"   
  
"I've got it,' Sari replied, putting the tape in the machine. "Okay kids, enjoy."  
  
The blue screen suddenly burst into color as the theme song started to play, the little anime creatures running across the screen. "Sari, you are cruel, twisted and evil. Are you you sure you have no relation to Sauron?" Angel snickered. The twelve children watched the movie for about five seconds in silent horror before, all in one voice, they started screaming.  
  
Sari couldn't help but wonder aloud, "do they ever shut up?" 


	4. Escape and Debates

Angel had turned off the movie in what seemed a nano second, and the children's screams had been reduced pained whimpers. "Well, we know they don't like cheep anime."  
  
"How comforting," Cora grumbled. "Hey...were's Aragorn and Elrond?" Two white sheets were piled on the floor, their captives missing. Just then they heard a loud CLINK in the kitchen, followed by the sound of uncooked noodles being spilled onto the floor. Then another CLINK and another. "What are they getting into now?" The teens looked at each other nervously. "Angel, you go check."  
  
"Me, you do it!"  
  
"Sari, your house, you check."  
  
"Right. Make sure none of the others get out,' Sari ordered.   
  
"Erm...too late," Angel moaned as the last toddler hobbit crawled around the corner.  
  
"Goddess, now you know why I quit babysiting," Sari growled.  
  
"I thought it was because those two hellspawn dragged a deer carcass out of the cornfield and presented it to you as if it was the best gift in the world,' Angel remarked.  
  
"That too." (A/N: that really did happen to me, and yes it was gross) "We'd better see what they're getting into."  
  
"We'll be right behind you," Anegl promised.  
  
"How about right beside me?"  
  
"No, we'll be behind you," Cora stated. "That way if they attack, you'll get the brunt of it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Your welcome." 


	5. In the Kicthen Again What a Mess

**Mean while, in the kitchen**  
  
"Sam, what you doing?" Frodo asked curiously as the seemingly four year old hobbit opened a lower cabinet, crawling inside.  
  
"Hiding from big people. don't like scarey thing they made us watch."  
  
"They was creepy," Pippen agreed. "Like dragons...only worser."  
  
"Pippen, try this," Merry called from the counter top, rolling and uncooked pasta shell in some Prego sauce, which he had poured out in front of him. "Its good." Pippen abandonded his raid of under the sink, where several pans had been discovered and removed, and clammered on to the counter with the aide of a kitchen stool, sitting opposite of Merry. But Pippen seemed more interested in wearing the sauce then eating it and in a matter of seconds he had covered himself, and Merry in it.   
  
In front of the fridge a six year old Celeborn and a five year old Galadriel had found a box of ho-ho's, a treat that not even a full grown adult can eat without getting messy, and the two were messy with chocolate. Elrond, three and a half, had found the left over birthday cake. The child-elf wasn't eating it, but simply having a great time mashing it...until Sarumon and Gandalf took started in with it, throwing chunks of the white cake at each other. Neither had gotten over the "pizza incident".  
  
And then there was Legolas and Gimli...the two had been opening jars of this and boxes of that in a competition to see who could find the best item. They had oepened everything they could possibly find...except the flour jar. Four year old Gimli circled, growling at the five and a half blonde Elf, who sneered back at the dwarf. Both lunged for the jar, grabbing hold of it at the same time.  
  
"Its mine!"Gimli shouted, yanking the jar in his direction.  
  
"Nuh-uh, its mine!" Legolas argued, pulling it back his way.  
  
"Mine!"   
  
"Mine!"  
  
"MINE!"  
  
Suddenly the jar tipped sideways, spilling its contents all over Frodo, who now loked very similiar to a Russian Tea Cake (A/N: its a type of cookie rolled in powdered sugar for thos who don't know). "Ahhh!' he yelped. Legolas and Gimli both laughed, then started in on throwing flour at each other...but they eneded up hitting themselves more than each other.  
  
"Oh bloody hell," Sari gasped when she walked in on the mess. "They;ve destroyed almost every edible thing in the house and now we have to give them baths."  
  
"We?" Cora asked skeptically.  
  
"Yes we," Sari replied. "Or else I'll tell a certain someone by the name of Michael about those pictures taped above your bed."  
  
"You wouldn't!"  
  
"I would."  
  
"I'll go get the bath water ready," she wimpered, running up the stairs.  
  
All of the children had stopped what they were doing, aside from an occasional bite of this or that, and were eyeing Sari and Angel, like demons ready to strike. "This looks like it could be a scene from a horror movie."  
  
"What, like, Attack of the Killer Babies?" Sari asked with a nervous laugh. "Okay, now we just have to get them to take baths."  
  
"Um, Sari...the majority of them are boys," Angel pointed out awkwardly. "Actually, all of them except one are boys."   
  
"Well, uh...anyone that is older then six should be able to take a shower without our help, and that's most of them...the rest we can help and its just like giving a baby a bath," Sari explained.  
  
"No bath!" came a shriek from around the corner. "No bath!" It was Aragorn. In his hands was what Sari saw as the most terrifying of things. In his hands, open, was a jar of coffee.  
  
"Aragorn," Sari began, attempting to control a fit that so terribly wanted to come out. "Aragorn, put that down."  
  
"Why?" asked the five year old deviously.  
  
"Because I said so."  
  
"Why?" The other children giggled. Aragorn made his way to the sink.  
  
"Put that down now, or you'll be given a time out," Sari growled.  
  
"That's not going to-"  
  
"Can it, Angel," Sari interrupted. "Aragorn, as your babysitter I'm telling you to put that coffee down!"  
  
"Okay," he said with mock innocense. He tippped the jar over, dropping it in the sink, and with a flash of lighting he turned the water on and ran. Everyone else began to laugh hysterically as the coffee was washed away down the drain.  
  
Sari watched in shock and horror as her caffiene, her source of life, was washed away. "Hey guys the water's ready!' Cora called, walking into the kitchen. "Guys?" Angel quickly whispered what had just happened. "Uh-oh..."  
  
"That's it!' Cora yelled, making everyone jump. "No more miss nice babysitters! You're all going to get baths, and that little cretan goes first!" 


	6. Still In the Kitchen To Stop a Crying E...

Sari didn't even attempt to calm down as she ran after Aragorn, cornering him in the computer room. "You're mine, pipsqueek."  
  
"I don't want a bath!" he yelled. "I'm not even dirty."  
  
"No, but you dumped out my coffee, so you're lucky that I'm just giving you a bath and not drowning you." Sari lunged forward, grabbing the boy by the shoulders. He kicked her in the shin, but Sari just lifted him up and slung him over her shoulder.   
  
"Let me go, you evil lady!" Aragorn yelled, pounding on her back. 'Put me down."  
  
"You may have been a ranger, and eventually a king in the book," Sari muttered. "But you have committed a mortal sin and for that you must pay the price." Kicking and screaming, she carried the boy into the bathroom and shut the door.  
  
"Wow," Angel said blankly. "I guess we know now what happens when someone really messes with her coffee. I never made an attempt to."  
  
"He's lucky he's a kid, otherwise she would have killed him," Cora pointed out. "I suppose we should round these ones up?"  
  
"Oh man," Angel moaned, looking at the mess. "You can take care of them," she said, pointing to the hobbits. "I'll take them." She pointed to the Elves. "We'll just let the others fight it out for now." By that she meant Gandalf and Sarumon, who were still throwing cake. Elrond looked like he was ready to start crying because the older kids had taken away his treat and were using it as a weapon. In fact, he DID start crying.  
  
"You wanted the Elves," Cora snickered.  
  
"Oh, oh no,' Angel began. "Come on, little Elrond, don't cry. Please...please don't cry?" But the small tears and wimpers became full out wailing, the tears mixing with the frosting. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. "Elrond, Elrond look." Angel made a freaky funny face, and Elrond paused, but only for a second. "Cora, what do I do?"  
  
"I don't know...try something else."  
  
"Ummm...okay." Anegl picked up the three year olf Elf and sat him on the table, then backed up a few steps. Making funny, sing-song noises, she bounced around, when suddenly she found herself standing in a huge pile of frosting and old cake. 'Ewwww!" she squeeled, much to the delight of Elrond, who stopped crying and began to laugh. "You like that huh?" Elrond was still laghing, and going on that, Angel found some more of the mess and stepped in it.   
  
"Angel, I think something is happening," Cora whispered to her cake-stomping friend. "Before they could talk and sorta act like they're adult selves...now they're really acting like their present ages!"  
  
"Hmmmm....you're right!" Angel agreed. 'We'll have to point that out to Sari."  
  
"I wonder how Sari is coming along with Aragorn," Cora wondered aloud. They both stopped to listen, hearing several starnge crashing noises, followed by shouts, and finally the water turn on. "I guess she got him into the shower." About ten minutes later Aragorn was marched down the stairs, clean, dressed (with his hair washed, A/N: yes washed!) and was immidiately tied to a chair in the living room.  
  
"You're lucky I don't torture you with teletubies!" she threatened. Then she turned to the group in the kitchen. "Next." 


	7. Cleanup, LightinaBoxSoulTrapper

"Hey, Sari, we have someting to tell you," Angel whispered, pulling her aside. "I think the kids are becoming their actual age!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Let me," Cora sais, pushing Angel aside. "What we mean, is before, they could talk like their adult selves, but now they're beginning to take on all attributes of the ages they've become. Take Elrond for example. An hour ago he was talking like a normal human adult...well, elven adult, but now his speech is that of a three year old, which is about how old he looks."  
  
"Great...I have no idea what to do with them." Sari flopped down in a flour covered chair. "I guess for now we just give them baths and try to get them to go to sleep. Angel, take Elrond and put him in the tub." Angel gave her a disgusted look. "For crying out loud you have five borthers all of whom are under the age of six and you have to bathe them, this is nothing new to you!"  
  
"I guess you're right. Fine, how about this. I bathe them and you clean up."  
  
"Okay," Cora agreed quickly.   
  
"Cora, you have no idea what you just agreed to," Sari muttered. "Bathing them would have been easy."  
  
"Gimli, Legolas, hobbits," Angel began. "Follow me." She picked Elrond up, who, laughing, smeared some frosting onto her face. Angel just smiled.   
  
"Why should we follow you?" Legolas demanded. All of the others gave her questioning looks.  
  
"Because if you don't then I'm going to make you watch that movie again." After a moment of silent fear all of them ran up the stairs and into the bathroom with Angel right behind them.  
  
"Celeborn, Galadriel, Sarumon, Gandolf," Sari began. They all looked at her. "I'll make you a deal. You help us and you'll get a treat in the end."  
  
"What is it?" Sarumon demanded.  
  
"Its a surprise," Sari answered.  
  
"No way, you probably don't have naything for us!" the nine year old wizard child yelled.  
  
Fed up, Sari ran over and lifeted him off the ground by his collar, holding him up eyelevel. "You listen to me, you little brat! You're ging to help clean and then you'll get your surprise. If you don't help willingly, then you're still going to clean and then I'll tie you to a chair like I did with Aragorn and put on that movie again. Understand?" Sarumon nodded silently. "Good." Sari set him down then looked at everyone. "Alright my little demonspawn...start picking up, we'll take care of the washing and sweeping."  
  
"How come you're so cranky?" Galadriel asked innocently as Sari washed the table down. The elf was also on the table, helping Sari with a second cloth.  
  
"Have you ever dealt with 12 children who were really naughty all at once?" Galadriel shook her head no. "Try it sometime, you'll understand."  
  
All of a sudden there was a loud burst of music, followed by Sarumon and Gandolf running out of the tv room. They had found the tv and x-box, which happened to have a "Nickel Creek" CD inside, and they had pressed play.   
  
"Sari should I-"  
  
"Nah, leave it," Sari replied causally. "I like it." Suddenly she burst into giggles. Galadriel was dancing on the table to the music, and Celebron, who was sweeping the floor, also began to dance. "That's adorable!"  
  
"Get a picture!" Cora hissed. "Before they stopp!"  
  
Sari hurried over to the buffet drawer and pulled out a camera. She snapped a picture of the two child-elves dancing to country music before she started laughing.   
  
"Light...in a box..." Gandolf said, mystified, looking at the camera. Sari snaped a picture of him, and the eight year old jumped back.   
  
"Ah, its not going to hurt you," Sari smiled. Suddenly an evil thought popped into her head. "Unless..."  
  
"Unless what?" Sarumon asked, looking up from the dishes he was washing.   
  
"Sari, what are you thinking?" Cora asked in a hushed whisper.  
  
"Just follow my lead," she whispered back.   
  
"Unless what?" Sarumon repeated.  
  
"Well, you see this little button here?" Sari began, pointing to the zoom button. They all nodded, following her finger. "Well, if you're bad then all I have to do is press this button and then when the light goes off your soul will be trapped inside the box until I decide to let it out."  
  
"Nuh-uh!" Sarumon argued bravely, disblieving her.  
  
"You want to be the first to try it out?" Cora asked, grinning evily at how the nine year old's bravery failed. "Didn't think so."  
  
"You'd better be good and finish cleaning up and take your bath's quietly, understand?" The boys nodded and Galadriel just looked at the camera intensly.  
  
"Speaking of baths, I wonder how Angel is handling the kids." 


	8. Bathtime and Playpens

The hobbits watched quizzically as Angel filled up the bath, pouring bubbles into it. She had Elrond sitting on the sink where she could keep and eye on him as the others undressed. "Only four of you in the tub at once," Angel said. "I don't think it will fit more than that."  
  
"I'm not taking a bath with the dwarf," said Legolas in a snotty tone.  
  
"Fine, Gimli, you get in the ater and Frodo, you just wrap up in this towel until the next bath," Angel ordered. Frodo climbed out, wrapping up as Angel had told him to do, but Gimli stood still and defiant. "Gimli, get in the water."  
  
"Don't need a bath," he said gruffly.   
  
"You need a bath, you smell like a grease vat!"  
  
"I don't need a bath!" Gimli shouted.  
  
"Yes," Angel growled. "You do."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"YES!"  
  
"You're mean."  
  
"And your a pain in the butt!" Angel retorted. Legolas snickered. Enraged, Gimli dove for the elf, grabbing onto his blonde hair, dragging him to the tiled floor.  
  
"OWWWWWWWWWWW!" screamed the elf.  
  
"Let go of him!"Angel yelled, slapping Gimli on the wrist. The action startled the dwarf and he let go of Legolas' hair, sitting on the floor in disbileif when suddenly he bagn to wail. "Oh, no, don't cry, I didn't mean to hit you." With the dwarf wailing Elrond joined in and soon the hobbits were all crying as well. "Please stop, don't cry! All of you, please, stop! Uh...look what I have!"  
  
She picked up a handful of bubble suds and put them on top of her hair, creating a rather funny image for the children, who stopped crying and began to laugh as she piled some more on. "See, no need to cry. Now get in the bath Gimli."  
  
"No," he snapped.  
  
"Alright, then what if I do this?" Angel held his ax over the water. "Get in or it goes in."  
  
"Youre mean," he mumbled, climbing into the tub.  
  
"I know," Angel grinned. She cleaned off the first batch, wrapped them in towels, then refilled the tub, putting Frodo and Legolas in next.  
  
"He pulled my hair," the elf-prince sulked darkly.   
  
"I know he did," Angel replied, putting shampoo in the blonde hair, then rinsing it out with cups of water. She did the same to Frodo, then wrapped them in towels and drained and refilled the tub for Elrond. The three year old had a blast splashing Angel with water as she cleaned all of the cake and food off of the tiny elf. "Thank Goddess for little brothers," she muttered. "And here I thought they'd never come in handy. Mum was right...'baby training'." With the last one in her crew done and all wrapped up in towels, Angel wrapped Elrond up and marched them all downstairs.  
  
"Sari, do you have clothes for them? Aragorn, I think, got the last pair of your brother's old clothes and I don't know if anything else will fit."  
  
"Yeah, outside in the garage attic. Hang on, I'll bring the stuff in. Cora, get Gandolf in the shower, and Sarumon can go next, Galadriel will go last." The door opened and closed.  
  
In the living room Aragorn struggled against the nylon binds of the pantyhose that tied his arms and legs to the chair. "Get me out of this!" he screamed.   
  
"No, you destroyed one of the most precious substances in this household," Cora snapped.  
  
"Mithril?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Gold?" asked Sam.  
  
"Mushrooms?" Pippen added.  
  
"No," Angel explained. "He destroyed Sari's coffee. Its a special drink and its more precious to her than just about anything. And you, ranger-boy, dumped it in the sink."  
  
"Hey, one of you want to help me with this stuff."  
  
"Wow, you have tons of kids stuff," Cora noted.  
  
"I came froma family of ten, what can I say. And look what elese I found." she pointed to two boxes marked 'play-pens'.  
  
"What are you going to do with those?"  
  
  
********************************************************************************************************************************  
  
  
"Genious. Pure genious," Angel commented. The girls had piled blakets and pillows on the floor, then had flipped the play-pens upside down and tied them to various peices of sturdy furniture with the children traped inside.  
  
"God bless America and the inventor of the play-pen," Sari laughed.  
  
"Hah, you got caged! You got caged!" Aragorn taunted from the chair.  
  
"And you get gagged," Cora teased, taping his mouth shut with duct tape.  
  
"Heh, I always wanted to see that done."  
  
"Duct tape, like the force, has a light side and a dark side, and like the force it holds the universe together," Angel snickered.  
  
"And in this case shuts up that black hole of a mouth," Sari added. "Nighty-night, pumkin." 


	9. Out of the Pens and onto the Breakfast

Sari woke up from her bed on the couch, gazing through the dim early morning light, trying to rack her foggy brain as to why there were two play-pens upside down in her living room floor. Then it hit her, like a sack of horribly messed up bread dough (A/N: which is harder than bricks). Tolkien's characters were in her living room, and they had been turned into kids by something, though only the Higher Powers knew what.  
  
Angel and Cora had fallen asleep n the floor, and much to her reliefe the kids were still asleep underneath the playpens, which served as cages. Aragorn, however, was awake, and trying to get out of the chair. He hadn't succeeded yet, and the duct tape was still set firmly over his lips. Sari couldn't help but grin. She remembered what the little brat had done.   
  
Then, Aragorn pulled a trick that not even Sari had expected. He stopped struggling, and looked her straight in the eye, giving her the "sad puppy face"! Sari growled at not being able to stay mad at him when he had this face on...she never really could be mad at someone the average size of a little brother who made that face. With a heavy sigh she got up and walked over to the chair.  
  
"I'm going to take this tape off of you, but the minute you start yelling I'll slap another piece on, do you understand?" Aragorn nodded quickly, and mercilessly, Sari ripped the tape from his lips.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said softly.   
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sorry about dumping out that stuff that made you so mad," he apologized.   
  
"Wow...er...okay, apology accepted," Sari replied. 'Damn,' she thought to herself. 'If tying a kid to a chair and duct taping their mouth shut means getting an apology later, I'll have to do that to my siblings more often!' "Angel, Cora, time to get up!"  
  
"Wha? Do we have to?" Angel murmered, sitting up with a drugged look on her face.  
  
"Oh, I feel like I've been hit with a batch of Rosie and Allison's bread dough," Cora grumbled, rubbing her shoulder. "You removed the tape from the brat's mouth?"  
  
"Yeah, and I warned him that if he started to scream that I would put another peice on," Sari explained. "You guys, what are we going to do about them?"  
  
"I don't know," Angel said. "Can I keep one?"  
  
"Angel, they aren't pets," Cora said sternly. "Besides, what would your dad say when you came home with a hobbit in your arms? And where would you keep him, in the dog house?"  
  
"No...I suppose you're right," Angel sighed. Their coversation was interrupted by Angel's stomach, which growled loudly. "I'm hungry."  
  
"Me too," Cora agreed. "And no doubt they'll be hungry when they all wake up, but I don't think there's any food left!"  
  
"I'll run down to the gas station and pick up some powdered donuts," Sari volunteered. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Grabbing her purse, she darted down the street, coming back about 5 minutes later with three bags of little powdered donuts. By that time all of the "children" were awake, and trying to find ways of escape. "Let them out!" Sari called once the donuts were on the table.  
  
Like a pack of rabid dogs the "children" descended upon the donuts, until the table became nothing but a messy blur of white powder and little bodies. "And they're back to the Russian Teacake stage," Cora snickered.  
  
"I wouldn't laugh," Sari warned. "Its your turn to wipe them down." They ate what few donuts Angel had managed to save, while Angel herself broke the donuts into smaller pieces for Elrond, who munched happily as his own face became a powdered mess.   
  
"What do we do?" Angel asked softly. "They're bound to get hungry again, you know."  
  
"Well, I guess we'll simply have to move the fellowship," Sari stated.  
  
"What do you mean by 'Move the fellowship', Sari?" Cora inquired slowly, as if she'd rather not know the answer.  
  
"We have to take them to the store." 


	10. Fellowship and the Giant Eagle

A/N: I do not own Giant Eagle or the Eagle's Nest...so please don't sue. Oh, and on another note...incase anyone is wondering, Sarumon has been sent home...because...because...oh heck, because I felt like it. lol.  
  
  
Cora and Anegl looked horrified. Go to the store? Sari had to be nuts. She had to be! This was the look that was obvious in both girl's eyes.   
  
"Oh come one, you guys!" Sari exclaimed. "It can't be that bad of an idea can it?" They all looked at the kids, of which Gimli and Legolas were wipping each other with wet wash-rags. "Ooookay, maybe it can. But we have to do something! Besides, Giant Eagle is only five minutes away at tops. We need food!"  
  
"Okay, I'll drive," Cora sighed. "But you do realize how odd it will be, taking a bunch of Elves, Hobbits, and a Wizard to the grocery store, right?"  
  
"I walk around dressed as an Elf all the time, Angel too," Sari replied. "And you went as Gandolf that one time...they're used to us."  
  
"Do you thik they'll behave?" Angel asked, picking up baby Elrond, who began to laugh an pull on Angel's hair giggling "curly, curly, curly..."  
  
All the girls stopped and thought for a moment. An evil gleam returned to Sari's eyes, and it wasn't for the first time that the others had seen this gleam. She had an idea. With a big smile, she grabbed the camera and held it up.  
  
"Freeze!" Cora shouted. 'Or she'll use the magic box!" Everyone stopped, looking up in utter horror at the thought of their souls being trapped in a little box. "Sari, they're all yours."  
  
"Thank you, Cora," Sari replied with sick humor. "Listen up my little Elves, Istari, and Hobbits. We are all going on a trip...not too dangerous of a trip, but a trip none the less."  
  
"Where are we going?" asked Merry.  
  
"To the store."  
  
"Will there be breakfast?" asked Pippen.  
  
"You've already had breakfast," Angel replied.  
  
"We've had one, yes," answered the four year old hobbit.  
  
"Don't even start that!" Cora interrupted.  
  
"Anyways," Sari continued. "We are going to...the Giant Eagle!" All the kids looked at her, dumbstruck. "Er...just come with me and behave, or else I'll take your picture...er, I mean, soul."  
  
"Alright, single file!" Cora ordered, marching the kids outside. "You, little greaseball (said to Aragorn), are not even going to have a chance at escaping!" She tied a piece of rope around his waist, much like a little harness, and tied the other end to her wrist. 'Now where I go, you go."  
  
"Great," muttered the boy.  
  
"Haha!" Gimli laughed.  
  
"Watch it or you're next!" Cora warned.  
  
"I don't need to be tied up, I'm a little princess," smirked Galadriel, following Cora and the others outside.  
  
"Well at least someone is sure of themselves,' Sari muttered to herself, making sure everyone was secure in their seats. 'Well, here goes everything."  
  
The drive to the store was amazingly uneventful...save for the fact the the Hobbits wanted to cower on the floor, and the Elves and Dwarf kept hitting each other to look out the window. Aragorn had had his hands and ankles bound for the duration of the ride. Once insde the store, however, it was a different matter.   
  
The Hobbits and Elrond were placed in one cart, while the Galadriel, Celeborn, Legolas, and Gimli, much to his detest, were placed in another. Gandolf and Aragorn were allowed to walk, seeing as they were older.  
  
"Alright, genious," Cora whispered, sticking her tongue out at a staring passerby. "What's the plan?"  
  
"Make for the "Eagle's Nest," Sari instructed.  
  
"What?" Angel asked. "Why?"  
  
"Trust me," Sari grinned. With each of them pushing a cart (Angel pushed the empty cart), the trio made for the little nursery room, very slowly. 'Kids, you see that place over there?"  
  
"Yes," they all answered.  
  
"Do you know what that is?"  
  
"Of course we don't." Aragorn mouthed smartly.  
  
"Well, do you want to know?"  
  
"Is it a bad thing?" Sam asked.  
  
"Its called the Eagle's Nest," Sari began. "That's where the bad children go when their parents are trying to find food. Its a big nest, where inside dwells the giant Eagle...and if you're bad, he eats you!"  
  
All of the children gulped in looked in fear at the top half of the door, which was open. And it just so happened at the exact time that they looked over there that a big Eagle mascot passed the door. All of the kids screamed and Elrond began to cry.  
  
"Sari, you're horrible!' Angel scolded. Cora elbowed her.  
  
"Be right back, kids," Sari grinned, making her way for the door.  
  
"No, don't go!" Frodo called. 'You'll be eaten!"  
  
"No she won't," Pippen said. "She's too big."  
  
"But you aren't!" Cora whispered into Pippen's ear.  
  
Sari was over at the door, talking to someone inside and with a big smile, she began to walk past. But the kids weren't looking at her. They were looking at the Eagle, who was now standing in the door...waving at them. And for the rest of the trip not a single one of them opened their mouth. Nor did they move. The fear was too great in them, that even when Legolas fell forward and yanked on Gimli's hair, nothing was said or done. No one wanted to get eaten.  
  
"Oh look," Angel cooed once they were all back at home. 'They're behaving."  
  
"Its amazing what a little fib can do, huh?" Cora asked.  
  
"Lets just enjoy the silence," Sari advised with a smile. All of them stopped speaking for a moment, but the glorious silence didn't last. In fact, it was shattered by an ear splitting roar...Legolas had tackled Gimli, claiming that the "hideous dwarf" had stolen the donut he'd saved from breakfast.  
  
"And so it begins." 


	11. Gimli and the Telephone

Sari, Angel, and Cora watched as the Elf and Dwarf battled it out over a donught the three of them were certain didn't exist.  
  
"What is it between Elves and Dwarves?" Angel wondered.  
  
"Its because one was made by Iluvitar and one race was made by someone else...and since Iluvitar was merciful and didn't have the dwarves destroyed, there was always some sort of...anger, I guess you could say, between the races," Sari answered, gaining only a pair of blank yet confused faces. "Or something like that."  
  
"Well...okay, if you say so," Cora answered.  
  
"Up!" shouted baby Elrond. "Up!" Angel picked him up.  
  
"Oh, aren't you the cutest little thing in the world, yes you are! Yes!" Angel cooed sweetly. Cora looked ready to gag.  
  
"At least she'll be a good mother," Sari told Cora.  
  
"I'm hungry," Frodo whined.   
  
"Me too!" Sam joined in.  
  
"You just had donughts!" Cora yelled.  
  
"I'm bored," Aragorn grumbled.  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"I'm bored too," Gandolf agreed.  
  
"Do we have to stay in here?" Aragorn asked. "Can't we go outside?"  
  
"No!" Cora answered. "You'd -"  
  
She was cut off as the telephone rang. All of the children were screaming as it rang again. And again. "Its okay!" Sari yelled over the noise. "Its just a phone, nothing to worry about. Settle down! Settle d-" She cringed as the most sould peircing sound reached her ears. Gimli, while all of the other children were screaming, had decided to do something about the "ringing beast". His Ax was now lodged in the wall. 


End file.
